Numb

My mind is gone,
My patience spent.
It didn't take long.
I don't know where it went.
Too many calls, too many cares,
Too many trips, too many snares.

I'd like to feel free,
Truly free indeed,
But I've found discrepancy
Between what I am and should be.
Head and heart know the same truth,
But heart feels bound since its youth.

Depression. Help is on the way,
To be taken every day
In the form of a tiny pill
Not for thrills, more like chills.
I'll unlock its magic each night
That makes me feel just right.

Should a child of the living God resort to such measure?
Has my earthen vessel taken in wrong treasure?
I've tried so hard, laying up heavenly gifts.
While through this world's garbage I sift.
I've spread God's love that never runs out,
So why am I empty and numb throughout?