Amazing Stories: Manure Pie

"I declare contestant number four the winner!" Ralph shouted.

Ditto stood there with his fists clenched. He was very, very angry.

"Wait!" he said. "I'm going to eat it!"

Everyone stopped.

Ditto shut his eyes and crammed the fly sandwich into his mouth. He chewed and swallowed, then he wiped his forehead.

"There!" he said.

"You're too late!" said Ralph. "The competition is over!"

"But I ate it!"

"It doesn't matter! You can't qualify after the competition's finished!"

"Too late! Too late! Too late!" chanted half the school.

Ditto shouted something which was probably best unheard, then he stormed away.

And I was left with my adoring fans.

Next school day, we heard that Ditto had thrown up before he got home so he would have been disqualified anyway. Someone had seen him standing over a gutter spilling his guts.

I never told him that half the fly sandwich had been chocolate chips. That was the half I ate.

And I didn't have the heart to tell Ditto that the other half of the sandwich had been real flies.