"Thanks a lot men," my Dad was saying. He shook the kidnappers' hands and patted them on their backs. "You did a great job."
"What?" I said.
"I'll explain it to you on the way," Dad said. He gave me a big, lovely hug. It was years since he'd ever done that. I couldn't believe it.
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Did you work it out?
It was my birthday. I suppose you guessed that much. Dad arranged for the kidnapping to get away from his work for a while. His brother, John, was the actor who played him.
"Was it a real bullet?"
"No," said Dad, "But it might as well have been. John's only days from dying, so it wouldn't have made much of a difference. He wanted to do this for me, as his way of helping."
"Helping?" I asked, "What with?"
"Son," said Dad, "I admit I've been a lousy father to you for eight years, but I have an excuse. I've been trying to build up the business. I didn't realize what a commitment running a business was. I got so tangled up with it I couldn't get away. The media tracks me everywhere, the world always wants to know what I'm doing. Its terrible! I never have a free moment!
"So I arranged for my own death. Sorry to put you through the horror of it. It will take them a few days to work out the fact that John is not me, and by then you and I will have disappeared off the face of the world! Incognito you understand? We're going to have one heck of a holiday!"
"But who will run the business while you're gone?"
"I have employed a new Manager, to run things while I'm gone."
"Is this the surprise you said you had for me?"
"Yes," said Dad, "Happy birthday, son."
This was the best present ever, I thought. No wrapping paper and no string!
Just me and my Dad.