Tangled Yarns: Hidden Talents

Burglar Fairy went Flash! and I was sitting on a nice bit of carpet behind an armchair.

"Where am I now?" I asked.

"Keep your voice down," whispered the Fauy, "This here's the dressing room of the famous Laugh-a-Minute, world-famous, Voted-Funniest-Comedian-this-side-of-the-moon, Looney Larry, He's about to come in and put his make-up on, then he'll leave you to help yourself to his money. Looney Larry's a real eccentric. He doesn't believe in banks. He thinks people are always trying to rob him. So Larry carries all his money about with him in big suitcases. There's millions in cash, sitting right over there ... shh! Here he comes! Just keep down, and keep quiet!"

The door opened, and Looney Larry walked in. He was chuckling at one of his own jokes, and twirling his bow tie. He sat on a stool in front of a mirror and began to put different colored skin creams on his face. As he worked, he told jokes to himself.

I tried not to listen. Some of the jokes were really really funny, like the one about the old fisherman who kept his bait warm by holding it in his mouth, or the one about... I started to laugh. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I rolled on the floor. I slapped my legs. I kicked my feet in the air and tears ran down my face.

Larry watched me for a while, then he rang the police.

"It's a pity you didn't know how funny he was," said the policeman, "You should have picked on some other comedian. A not so funny one."

"It's not fair!" I said, "How was I to know?"

"You should have read the advertising," said the policeman, "It says people should write their wills before they come to hear Larry, on account of the number who die laughing at his shows. Its very dangerous you know."

"Thanks!" I said, "What are you going to do with me?"

"I'll let you off with a warning," said the policeman, "But don't let me catch you hiding and laughing behind chairs again. It's a very serious crime in this part of the world."

I thanked the policeman and went off down the street until I went Flash! again and I was back in my bedroom.

"It's obvious" I said to the Burglar Fairy, "That I'm just too clumsy to be any good at robbing banks, or shops, or anything!"