Tangled Yarns: Sleepytime Freezers

"Compact, light, made from me newest materials, state of the art, cryogenics at its finest!"

He began to unfold the box, slotting sides into sides, and swinging pieces round on hinges, until it was finished. Now it was a much bigger box.

The dog barked and chased the cat through the room and someone let the budgie out. My other sister ran after it with a fly swat.

"It looks like a coffin?" I said.

"Yes, it does,'" agreed the dapper little salesman, "And for a very good reason. This freezer is like no other freezer in the world. It can be used, of course, for storing the usual household things, but that's only the start. This freezer was built to give people the ability to just 'sleep off their troubles'! What you do is decide how long you want to be out of circulation, I like that pun, and then set the dial. Just hop in and shut the lid, and the freezer will do the rest."

"I don't quite follow you?" said Mum.

"That's normal," said Mr. Gromley smiler ever-so-brightly, "It usually takes a while to understand the amazing features which the Sleepytime Freezer has. I'll explain it again."

He opened the lid and ran his hand along the silver lining.

"See this material? Its called preservo. Used in the Space Program for the last six months and proven 100% effective. What it does is maintain a steady temperature, without allowing it to rise or fall, regardless of outside conditions. Scientists still don't know exactly how it works, the technology is still so new, but they do know one thing: it does work. What the owner of the Sleepytime Freezer does is lie down inside and sleep. The timer will wake them up whenever they want!"

"Well, I . . I don't believe you," said Mum, "I think this sounds like a joke! I really do think you're joking! No freezer could do that! You'd die!"

"That's what we at the Sleepytime Institute thought too, so we tested the Freezer on mice, rats, pigs, dogs, cats and finally on humans. It worked perfectly every time. Since then we have put this product through rigorous tests and found no problems whatsoever. It is one hundred percent reliable. Believe me madam, you can trust it!"

"I still don't believe you," said Mum, "I've heard of those people who get themselves frozen. They can't thaw