No Strings Attached: Fame

"I don't know. I'll tell you when I've finished thinking about how much time I'll need."

The men waited patiently for a few seconds. One of them glanced at the clock. Another one picked some lint off his sleeve.

"I haven't decided yet," said Ernest, "I can't think in a crowd. I want to go for a walk by myself."

"Certainly," said the men, "We can arrange that."

So Ernest went for a walk, by himself. Six body-guards walked with him, a few steps each side, and two police cars, with motorbike escorts, crept along before and behind him. A surveillance helicopter hovered somewhere above him. It was good to be walking by himself, thought Ernest.

When Ernest reached the Park, he slipped into the shrubbery and ran. There was a hole in the fence, which he'd discovered a few days earlier. It led into the back yard of an Old Folk's home. Once through that hole, Ernest calculated, he could wrap himself in washing off the line and hide in a wash-basket. It wasn't a very clever plan, but for Ernest it was definitely above average.

He dived through the hole and looked for the sheets, but the old lady who lived there had taken all her washing in, so Ernest ran down the path and leaped through the door of a little glasshouse. He crashed into many tomato plants and felt the juice squirting all over him.

"He's in here!" the men shouted, as they closed in.

Panes of glass broke and men with pistols ran about the lawn, kneeling and bracing themselves with guns ready, covering all exits.

Ernest was helped from the tangle of tomatoes and escorted back to the road. The head of security apologized profusely for his laxity and subsequently resigned, and Ernest was taken home for a bath.

The next morning, the ministers of the Crown were still awake, and they had bleary eyes, wand their suits and shirts were crumpled, after having to sleep on the floor. They yawned and rubbed their tired faces as Ernest came down for breakfast.

"Have you seen the newspapers yet?" his mother asked.

"No?" said Ernest.

His mother handed him a pile of many different