Tangled Yarns: Sleepytime Freezers

Whole unwanted populations can be put to sleep, and woken up when vaccines, food, housing and jobs have been arranged.

9. The justice system can be changed too. Criminals who used to clutter up jails, at huge expense to the tax-payer, can now be put to sleep until their sentence is over, and at the mere cost of a few cents a day for electricity.

10. There are many as yet undiscovered uses for the Sleepytime Freezer. These are just a few of them. We trust that, like many millions of other satisfied customers, you too will be satisfied too."

The manager of the company had signed the sheet with the words, "You have my personal guarantee". Beside the words was a tiny photograph of the manager, smiling broadly, as if he'd just made a million dollars, which he probably had. Ralph couldn't help noticing how similar to Mr. Gromley the manager looked, but he didn't say anything. "Probably Mr. Gromley's father," he thought. And there was a logo shaped like a coffin in the top right hand comer.

"Well that's all very nice," said Ralph's mother, "Come on kids, lets plug them all in."

Her children scrambled and fought for the privilege of plugging all the Freezers in, then they climbed in and squabbled about who should sit at the front. Mum got the twins and put them together, then she set the dials and put them all, except Ralph, to sleep.

"What a wonderful invention!" said Ralph's mother, "The house is so quiet now! I can actually hear myself think! No dog destroying everything, no cat ripping the curtains, no screaming kids, no food being flung all over the furniture. Marvelous!"

"What if there's a power-cut Mum?" asked Ralph.

"It won't be long now," thought Ralph.

"They don't happen very often."

"What if the dial gets stuck?" said Ralph.

"There's a guarantee."

"What if the president puts everyone to sleep?"

"Oh stop it Ralph! You ask such silly questions!"

Ralph didn't ask any more. He went outside and sat on the front step, in the sun. There were no kids around to play with. The neighbourhood seemed to be holding its breath. Down the street, a Sleepytime Freezer truck was parked. Two men carted boxes up the path to the door and returned for another four.

"It won't be long now," thought Ralph.