No Strings Attached: Fame

"No I'm not."

"Are."

"Not!"

"Are!"

Ernest signed the paper and walked on. He didn't get very far. There was a reporter in front of him now, with a microphone that looked like a huge bubble about to burst, and a camera on his shoulder. A crowd of school kids pushed and shoved to get in the picture, hemming Ernest's way of escape like a wall.

"I am standing at the gates of Skyview Heights College, and here, entering the school itself is Mr. Ernest Q. Blogins with one 'g', about to begin another day of work. Mr. Blogins, I wonder if I might ask you a few questions, before you go to your classroom?"

"Questions?" said Ernest faintly.

"Splendid. Now the first one comes from one of your fans in Northern Scotland, a Miss Emily Fracklebun, and she wants to know if you use fluoridated toothpaste or unflouridated toothpaste?"

"Fluoridated," said Ernest "And sometimes unflouridated. Sometimes."

"And is there any reason why you prefer fluoridated to unflouridated?"

"Me Mum makes me. She says if I don't brush my teeth, she'll cut my pocket-money in half."

"So you come from a repressive home, where freedom of choice is, would you say, extremely limited?"

"I don't know?" said Ernest, "I don't understand the question."

The bell went.

"Thank you, Mr. Blogin, for giving us your time. This is YZARC News signing off."

Ernest walked into school, with children jostling to be as close to him as possible. He still didn't believe it was happening to him. He thought it must be a dream. Or maybe the sickest of all jokes. Was everyone, including his mother, in on the trick? They wanted to tease him about his anonymity, didn't they?

The teacher came to meet him at the door. She showed