Only through His strength

How, how shall I describe to you this pain,
This physical sensation of fire in my brain?
The thoughts come at an unrelenting pace;
Disturbing and unwanted, out of place.
Painful memories, pieces of long ago dreams
All come back to haunt me, or so it seems.
Songs I once heard, stuck on endless repeat,
As I try in vain to ignore their torturous beat.
I'm wide awake yet I feel like I'm dreaming;
It's hard to trust what I'm seeing and hearing.
There's a thin line between dream and reality
And I walk it on tiptoes, with great difficulty.
It's hard to accept this new way of being;
Confusing to see, what others aren't seeing…
It's hard I can no longer trust my own head;
Harder to stay positive, to see a future ahead.

True, there's days I can only mourn my loss;
But then I think of Jesus, and of His cross.
His love is a bright light when life grows dim;
God has good plans for me, I trust in Him.
He is for me, and He's with me, this I know,
As I navigate this world I once used to know.
This cruel illness, I won't let it define me —
With God's help, I can be all that I can be.
Only through His strength I can keep going;
It's all for my good, it's a means of growing.
Only by His grace can I face yet another day —
Knowing I'm loved, saved, come what may.